If you're looking for a dark, windowless space where you can sip on an umbrella-ed drink free from judgement, get thee to The Alibi. Portland's finest tiki bar offers stiff, Tahitian-inspired cocktails straight from the Trader Vic's handbook. Booths are leathery and secluded for snuggling up to that special someone, or snuggling up to a Sex On The Beach on a rainy day. The menu is traditional bar fare (deep friend everything) and can be skipped in favor of one more Hemmingway-approved daiquiri. Karaoke is a nightly endeavor and the seclusion of the space invites some pretty enthusiastic performances. The best part? The MAX runs right across the street because there is no possible way you are leaving this island paradise sober.