Bars Filled With Douchebags in Portland
  

4th Down Bar & Grill
424 SW 4th Ave. Portland OR 97204
Sports bar (duh) in downtown.

Alibi Specifically: Weekends
4024 N. Interstate Ave. Portland OR 97227
Famed Portland tiki bar brimming with dark volcanic islandy charm. Located on the Max yellow line.

Aura
1022 W. Burnside St. Portland OR 97209
Good happy hour, decent food, lovely design, professional service...the crowds however, kill it.

Barrel Room Rockin' Show Bar
105 NW 3rd Ave. Portland OR 97209
Dueling piano bar in the heart of the amateur nightclub zone.

Blitz Ladd
2239 SE 11th Ave. Portland OR 97214
Enormous sports bar with good food and lots of games.

Blitz Pearl
110 NW 10th Ave. Portland OR 97209
Low Key Sports Bar in the Pearl

Boiler Room
228 NW Davis St. Portland OR 97209
Karaoke bar in the heart of the of the Old Town's amateur zone.

Bridgeport Alehouse
3632 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Portland OR 97214
Typical Alehouse

Bridgeport Brewpub
1313 NW Marshall St. Portland OR 97209
Bridgeport's sterile flagship brewpub in the Pearl.

Casa Del Matador
1438 NW 23rd Ave. Portland OR 97210
Not THE Matador on W. Burnside. Repeat. Not THE Matador on W. Burnside.

Casa Del Matador Southeast
2424 E. Burnside St. Portland OR 97214
Not THE Matador on W. Burnside. Not THE Matador on W. Burnside.

Central Specifically: Just kidding - no douchebags - the rules prohibit it
220 SW Ankeny St. Portland OR 97204
"Hidden" (as in signless) classy little joint in the Ankeny Alley

Cheerful Tortoise
1939 SW 6th Ave. Portland OR 97201
Right next to PSU, this would be downtown's Animal House, if, say, there were actually a university in Portland that had said fraternities.

Chopsticks Express
2651 E Burnside St. Portland OR 97214
Portland's most beloved karaoke bar for the not so serious would be crooner.

Clyde Common
1014 SW Stark Portland OR 97205
Downtown bar located next to the Ace Hotel serving specialty cocktails and food.

Couture Ultra Lounge
28 NW 4th Ave Portland OR 97209
Chic "Ultra-lounge" right in the heart of the weekend downtown douchebag zone.

Cuda Beach Club
9 NW 2nd Ave Portland OR 97209
New name for Barracuda - the longstanding mainstay of Portland's very own Jersey Shore set.

Deschutes Brewery Pub
210 NW 11th Ave. Portland OR 97214
Enormous warehouse space furnished with reclaimed wood houses one of Oregon's most famous brewery and pub.

Dirty
35 NW 3rd Ave. Portland OR 97209
Meat market for suburban set, located in the heart of the date rape district.

Dixie Tavern
34 NW 3rd Ave Portland OR 97209
Rock/urban cowboy themed bar is neither a tavern nor a rock bar, teeming with suburban 20 somethings eager to swap DNA and exotic diseases.

Doug Fir Lounge
830 E. Burnside St. Portland OR 97214
Swanky, Hipster Hotel with Kick Ass Venue

Dublin Down Pub
813 Main Street Vancouver WA 98660
"100% Irish" pub in the 'Couv.

Dublin Pub
6821 SW Beaverton Hillsdale Hwy Portland OR 97225
Irish pub with live music 6 nights a week and 59! taps.

Grand Central Bowl
808 SE Morrison Portland OR 97214
Over priced bowling brought to you by CEG, yay.

Gypsy
625 NW 21st Ave Portland OR 97209
Another Concept Entertainment Group creation, this time on NW 21st, featuring fish bowl cocktails.

Jimmy Mak's
221 NW 10th Ave. Portland OR 97209
Long standing Pearl District jazz club.

Jinx
232 NW 12th Ave. Portland OR 97209
Exactly what you would expect from a Pearl District lounge with a four letter moniker.

Kells Irish
112 SW 2nd Ave Portland OR 97204
Perfect for when you and 300 other amateur hour weekend warriors simply must have an authentically Americanized Irish bar experience...

Lotus Cardroom
932 SW 3rd Ave. Portland OR 97209
Perfect around happy hour, CEG's finest establishment slowly transforms from downtown 9-5 drone lunch crowd, to bump'n'grind meat market in a span of 6 hours.

Macadam's
5833 SW Macadam Ave Portland OR 97239
Big old sports bar in John's Landing

Madison's
1109 SE Madison St. Portland OR 97214
Self-billed as an SE favorite, one can not imagine how or why - the place seems devoid of patronage entirely, until you see extensive Yelp reviews.

Marathon Taverna
1735 W Burnside St. Portland OR 97209
Sports bar in the loosest sense: games play on numerous TVs, Budweiser banners adorn, the day shift old-timers could care less; at night, TapouT bedecked youngsters from god knows hoot & holler.

Mazatlan
2050 SW Morrison St. Portland OR 97205
Completely ordinary Mexican restaurant/bar with no real discerning qualities, other than the clientele's perplexed stares at Ella St. Social Club patrons across the st.

McFadden's
107 NW Couch St. Portland OR 97209
In the heart of the Jagerbomb district, the 20something suburban throngs descend to shake to a surprisingly decent DJs.

Migration Brewing
2828 NE Glisan St. Portland OR 97232
Beer-only microbrew joint's fantastic beers attract early afternoon beer geeks & patio sun-seekers.

Momo Bar Maximo
725 SW 10th Ave. Portland OR 97205
Not exactly a destination, though considering it's location, solid for sneaking a post downtown shopping happy hour drink, as evidenced by the crowd.

North 45
517 NW 21st Ave. Portland OR 97209
Swell back patio (non-smoking) and interesting drinks, tends toward the clean cut, pre-yuppie type crowd.

Olive or Twist
925 NW 11th Ave Portland OR 97209
By all accounts, a fantastic Martini bar with a completely trite and off-the-mark name. Yeah, we read Dickens and we don't seem to remember starving orphans hopped up on pricey martinis.

On Deck Sports Bar & Grill
910 NW 14th Ave Portland OR 97029
Rooftop Pearl District sports bar (meaning, too damn clean) that has most packages, and an expansive rooftop patio.

Portland City Grill
111 SW 5th Ave. Portland OR 97204
It's the view from the 30th floor! It's the happy hour! Boasted of equally by the white collar set to all out of towners. On a clear day, the view is grand...if you can get a seat.

Qube
108 SW Pine St Portland OR 97204

Shanghai Tunnel
211 SW Ankeny Portland OR 97204
Always reliable downtown (and mainly downstairs) bar with great food, great staff and a nice sidewalk patio. Part of the legendary Shanghai Tunnels of yesteryear.

Thirsty Lion Pub
71 SW 2nd Ave Portland OR 97204
"British" themed nightclub by CEG.

Uptown Billiards Club
120 NW 23rd Ave. Portland OR 97210
Exclusive old money era gentleman's billiard parlor sans any actual exclusivity, save for pricier food & beverages, allowing unfettered self-congratulating conversation between the well-heeled.


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